Thursday, 31 August 2017

Viz Bits

Wohnblockknacker

A word which will be music to any Geordies' ears but means "blockbuster" in German, used to describe a 1 400 kg, British WW2 bomb found in Frankfurt over the weekend.  Some 70 000 people were evacuated as authorities made the bomb safe for disposal.

It was found near the Goethe University and close by to the city centre so I sure the cousins weren't affected directly, but had it been a week day, they may have had some bonus time off as they both have work offices in the centre.

Full sp at TG

Little Luxuries

Dry roasted peanuts to hand again- and far more flavoursome than the diluted KP ones you get in the UK nowadays.  I know there is a salt concern but now they are just tasteless.

Go or Avoid?

Nice to see our old airport (Southend) raking highly at #2 but I would never link it to London...

Here are the top five UK airports according to Which?:

1. Doncaster Sheffield (87 per cent)
2. London Southend (84 per cent)
=3. Norwich (75 per cent)
=3. Southampton (75 per cent)
5. Exeter (71 per cent)

Here are the five worst UK airports according to Which?:

1. London Luton (29 per cent)
2. London Stansted (38 per cent)
3. Manchester Terminal 3 (43 per cent)
4. Aberdeen (44 per cent)
5. Manchester Terminal 1 (50 per cent)

TInd

Less of the Lip

Well Said

When people are free to do as they please, they usually imitate each other.
Eric Hoffer
(1902 - 1983)

Good Old Geordies

Still the only airport you can buy more Euros at... but for how long?

How much does £1 buy you?

  • Southampton Airport 0.86 euros
  • Heathrow Terminal 2 0.91 euros
  • Stansted Airport 0.91 euros
  • Newcastle Airport 1.05 euros
Getty Images

Headline of the Day

People treated for putting sun tan lotion on eyeballs to watch eclipse


TInd

Fringe 2016

  • "My dad has suggested that I register for a donor card. He's a man after my own heart" - Masai Graham
  • "Why is it old people say "there's no place like home", yet when you put them in one…" - Stuart Mitchell
  • "I've been happily married for four years - out of a total of 10" - Mark Watson
  • "Apparently 1 in 3 Britons are conceived in an IKEA bed which is mad because those places are really well lit" - Mark Smith
  • "I went to a pub quiz in Liverpool, had a few drinks so wasn't much use. Just for a laugh I wrote The Beatles or Steven Gerrard for every answer… came second" - Will Duggan
  • "Brexit is a terrible name, sounds like cereal you eat when you are constipated" - Tiff Stevenson
  • "I often confuse Americans and Canadians. By using long words" - Gary Delaney
  • "Why is Henry's wife covered in tooth marks? Because he's Tudor" - Adele Cliff
  • "Don't you hate it when people assume you're rich because you sound posh and went to private school and have loads of money?" - Annie McGrath
  • "Is it possible to mistake schizophrenia for telepathy, I hear you ask" - Jordan Brookes
  • "Hillary Clinton has shown that any woman can be President, as long as your husband did it first" - Michelle Wolf
  • "I spotted a Marmite van on the motorway. It was heading yeastbound" - Roger Swift
  • "Back in the day, Instagram just meant a really efficient drug dealer" - Arthur Smith
  • "I'll tell you what's unnatural in the eyes of God. Contact lenses" - Zoe Lyons
  • "Elton John hates ordering Chinese food. Soya seems to be the hardest word" - Phil Nicol
  • TripAdvisor

    We haven't stayed in hotels for a bit but recently on our Rhine jaunt we have, and so proceeded to review them.

    I cannot get over how shite the "new look" TripAdvisor has become.  Completely unintuitive, seemingly impossible to find where to write a review and just plain, bloody awful.

    Then I got a snotagram back from them for daring to mention our Blog which contravenes their rules.  At least I think that's what has caused a problem as it wasn't clear what they were complaining about.  Yet two reviews, with identical references to the Blog were accepted.

    To cap it all, I can't even contact them to ask what the fault was as you just corralled into their forum or Q & A pages.  Rubbish.

    And That's a Chicken Too

    But Still Some Bad News

    Our tenants have given notice, but it's nothing to do with the water problem, over which they have been most patient and tolerant.  They have bought a place of their own and will be moving out at the end of November.

    We wish them all the very best in their new home and thank them for looking after the place over the past years.

    In the meantime, anyone want to rent a smart one bed flat in Chalkwell?  Discounts for Blog readers available.

    Massive Relief

    We've been on tenterhooks since we were informed about the fall in water pressure at our flat in the UK, following on from the replacement of a new driveway.

    In the UK, the waterboard only has a duty for pipework leading up to the property and thereafter it is down to the landowner.

    Yesterday they were due to locate the problem and we feared the worst; our new driveway was the cause of the leak on our property and we'd be looking at huge rectification costs.

    Our good neighbours advised us of the out-coming and thankfully, the fault was due to some old pipework that is under the jurisdiction of the waterboard who will be back this morning to fix and fit a new water meter at the same time.  With further luck they will also foot the bill.

    I cannot tell you how delighted we are that it was nowhere near as bad as we feared.  Very happy this morning indeed.

    Not Good at All

    Tuesday night we were with the O2s at the Bariera, laughing and joking around over drinks.  Last night Orhan came in with a carrier bag full of home grown grapes and told us that after they got back the previous night, Olivera became sick and had to go straight to bed.

    In the morning they took her to hospital and after an anxious investigation, she was diagnosed with kidney stones with additional complications.  Poor Orhan was beside himself but his wife will be out today and then faces an op to clear up the stones next week.

    It's lucky they both worked in the medical field (she a nurse, he a blood analyst) and know everyone involved, so we know Olivera will get the best possible treatment.

    Speedy recovery and fingers crossed- wifey has promised to make you some soup and that could be more dangerous than the op...

    C & H

    Calvin and Hobbes

    Wednesday, 30 August 2017

    0.25% in the UK

    Looking to get a bit more for your English buck than the current piss poor rate?  Try New Zealand:

    Term Deposit rates
    Term$10,000 +
    30 days0.50% p.a.
    60 days1.50% p.a.
    90 days2.75% p.a.
    120 days3.00% p.a.
    150 days3.15% p.a.
    180 days3.30% p.a.
    210 days3.30% p.a.
    240 days3.50% p.a.
    270 days3.50% p.a.
    1 year3.35% p.a.
    18 months3.75% p.a.
    2 years3.90% p.a.
    3 years4.00% p.a.
    4 years4.20% p.a.
    5 years4.30% p.a.

    Well Said


    Don't throw away the old bucket until you know whether the new one holds water.
    Swedish Proverb

    Viz Bits

    Headline of the Day

    Court rules that crunching another man’s nuts at work is sexual assault


    As per The Local

    German Scrabble



    I'm not sure why the title says "without hyphens" unless it means they don't count the dash as a letter for the word count (I really can't be arsed to count), but if you think it's only the Germans with long words, the Brits beat them with:

    Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis

    Now that's a fancy way of saying "lung disease" in 45 letters.

    The Local

    Fringe 2015

    1. "I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free" - Darren Walsh
    2. "Kim Kardashian is saddled with a huge arse ... but enough about Kanye West" - Stewart Francis
    3. "Surely every car is a people carrier?" - Adam Hess
    4. "What's the difference between a 'hippo' and a 'Zippo'? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter" - Masai Graham
    5. "If I could take just one thing to a desert island I probably wouldn't go" - Dave Green
    6. "Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. That's not a miracle. That's tapas" - Mark Nelson
    7. "Red sky at night. Shepherd's delight. Blue sky at night. Day" - Tom Parry
    8. "The first time I met my wife, I knew she was a keeper. She was wearing massive gloves" - Alun Cochrane
    9. "Clowns divorce. Custardy battle" - Simon Munnery
    10. "They're always telling me to live my dreams. But I don't want to be naked in an exam I haven't revised for..." - Grace The Child
    The judges also released a list of jokes which just missed out on the shortlist.
    • "I never lie on my CV…because it creases it." - Jenny Collier
    • "If you don't know what introspection is you need to take a long, hard look at yourself" - Ian Smith
    • "I usually meet my girlfriend at 12:59 because I like that one-to-one time" - Tom Ward
    • "Whenever I get to Edinburgh, I'm reminded of the definition of a gentleman. It's someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn't" - Gyles Brandreth
    • "Let me tell you a little about myself. It's a reflexive pronoun that means 'me'" - Ally Houston
    • "Earlier this year I saw "The Theory of Everything" - loved it. Should've been called "Look Who's Hawking", that's my only criticism" - James Acaster

    DYK?

    "Sternutation" is the act of sneezing.

    News Thump

    nuclear explosion
    The firing of a missile over Japan is outrageous, but not quite as outrageous as reducing two of its cities to smouldering, radioactive rubble, it has emerged.
    North Korea launched the Hugedong-12 missile into the sea to the east of Japan early yesterday morning, resulting in a whooshing sound and the deaths of precisely no civilians.
    Warnings were sounded in cities like Nagasaki and Hiroshima, in which citizens are still dying of cancers related to the slightly larger bombs that went off in August 1945.
    The Japanese prime minister, Shinzo Abe, denounced the launch as ‘an unprecedented and grave threat’, prompting suggestions that he should go and read a fucking history book.
    After hitting the sea, the missile is said to have broken into three pieces, meaning eighties new wave act OMD are hardly likely to write a song about it – even if they’re struggling for new material.
    US president, Donald Trump said, “This is not the correct way to send a message to your perceived enemies.
    “Another incorrect way is to detonate a thermonuclear missile several hundred metres above one of their cities, resulting in thousands of deaths, and then follow this up three days later by doing it again.
    “Then wait another seventy years or so before coughing up some compensation.”
    Trump, meanwhile, reaffirmed his commitment to the defence of Japan, even if this means launching more bombs of the kind that melted over sixteen hundred Yo Sushi restaurants at the end of World War Two.
    Last night OMD vocalist, Andy McCluskey, said, “What rhymes with North Korea?”
    NT

    Local Brews for Local People

    We were on the draught beer last night with the O2s and it turned into a really fun evening out.  Rok, the owner also came and joined us a little later and we sampled a few of his "special" beers.  Top night but I will be doing very little today except chilling.

    Easy As

    Obviously we don't have a printer to hand on our travels but we do have a nice little shop for all of our admin needs just a short walk away.

    Quite a bargain too, at just 5 cents a sheet, it's hardly going to break the bank.

    Oh Deary Me

    Just heard that we have a major problem at the flat following the repair of the driveway.  It seems that there is a lack of water pressure implying that we may have a major pipe leaking.

    If it is on our property, we will be liable and with the water board involved you can bet that's what they will say.  The will be checking out the fault later today and that is not something I am looking forward to.  Either way, it's going to cost us shedloads.  😬

    C & H

    Tuesday, 29 August 2017

    Well Said

    Mediocre men often have the most acquired knowledge.
    Claude Bernard
    French physiologist (1813 - 1878) 

    Viz Bits

    News Thump

    Wembley Stadium
    Spurs’s 1-1 draw with Burnley has meant that the North London club extend their unbeaten record at their new home to a solitary match.
    An injury time equaliser from Clarets striker, Chris Wood cost Tottenham victory but there are plenty of reasons to be optimistic after this kind of result.
    Prior to today, Spurs’s record at the new Wembley consisted of eight defeats in 11 matches so to avoid defeat is something that will encourage Mauricio Pochettino and his men.
    Spurs players went off to a standing ovation from their supporters, it now stretches their unbeaten run at their new home to over 90 minutes without a defeat.
    “To leave here without tasting defeat is very pleasing. We’ve only lost one of our two home games here so far,” stated Pochettino.
    “This result has only given us more confidence at Wembley, we’ll be aiming to keep this unbeaten run going with another draw against Swansea in the next Premier League match here.”
    With the Champions League group draw taking place earlier this week, officials from Real Madrid and Borussia Dortmund have admitted to quaking in their boots at the prospect of visiting Tottenham at Wembley.
    NT

    International Duty

    Both Team Eng-er-land and Germany play on Friday and Monday but it's really only a formality as both teams will qualify for Russia next year.  Germany lead Group C with full points and play the Czech Republic away on 1st with Norway to come at home on 4th.

    The Brits are also leading their Group F and face Malta away on 1st and Slovakia at home on 4th.

    It'll be nice to watch the games knowing the pressure is off.

    The Tick



    Watching Spurs play so far as been a mixed bag of feelings.  Knowing we will ultimately not be able to match last season's standing is already an anticlimax, hoping that we will not embarrass ourselves at Wembley is also turning out to be a reality as is reverting back to type and not killing off games/leaking last minutes goals.

    But I find the most unpleasant part is seeing them play in a smart new shirt, that is sponsored by Nike.  I am an adidas fan through and through but it wasn't too bad having my team use Under Armour these past few years.  Now having to see them in Nike really turns the knife- especially as I am going to have to buy the top soon.  It's very nice indeed.

    Paradise Lost

    It's not all fun and games when you go away on holiday and live under a big church on the hill.  They really like to remind you that not only is their place of worship alive and kicking but that they employ (or maybe have volunteers) who are interested in the art of campanology.

    Every morning at 07:00 we have a rendition that would make even Esmeralda want to punch Quasimodo in the face.  Repeatedly.

    DYK?

    Interesting Facts 01

    How Can That Be?

    As usual our credit card has been taking the strain for our on-line payments and it hasn't skipped a beat, being ultra reliable and easy to use.  Our last post on Flixbus is that all they charged us to use the plastic was an additional 50 cents for the entire transaction.

    So how come plenty of UK businesses extort £10 - £20 each time you use your card with them?

    Happy to Pay


    All they wanted form us was a minuscule contribution of around 50 cents to cover our trip, a donation we were happy to make.  Why can't other companies offer the same responsibility for such a small sacrifice?

    Almost Done

    Flixbus has come to the rescue for our transfers from Berlin to Hamburg and then down to Bielefeld in October.  We just booked on-line and got cracking deals with a three hour trip from the capital to Hamburg for 21€ (inc two bags and two pieces of hand luggage) and then slightly more at 23€ for the second leg to my home town.

    Done and dusted so we just have to decide what to do about the last couple of days and where to stay prior to our flights back to Thailand.

    How to Fix Football Part 298

    Don't you just love the pundits on MotD (Match of the Day) who are experts on not just playing the game but also such keen critics of the referees?

    So I have a solution.

    Make any potential commentator referee an entire season of Premiership football to see how they get on.  And of course, let them be subjected to their colleagues' opinion of how well they fare when they're the man in black.

    I'd love to see how gobby and negative they will be after a stint in the middle.

    Fag Watch

    4.10€ for 20 Marlboro at the supermarket here, so if you want to buy a few packs of 200 and take them back to the UK to flog on, you should be able to make, what, £20 - £30 a time?

    Checking on-line at Tesco, they are offering 200 B & H for £103.10 so everyone wins.

    C & H

    Monday, 28 August 2017

    Viz Bits

    DYK?

    Bluetooth, the wireless communication standard, was named after Harald Bluetooth, a tenth century king who encouraged communication and unity among warring Norse and Danish tribes.

    Good Retort

    Following on from the £13.40 pint debate in yesterday's post, Euroboozer made the following point- full sp here on the Blog or at TInd:


    Well Said

    A discovery is said to be an accident meeting a prepared mind.
    Albert Szent-Gyorgyi
    US (Hungarian-born) biochemist (1893 - 1986)

    News Thump

    Donald Trump furious at White House renovation
    The US president has blamed institutional sabotage after a $3 million renovation work at the White House ignored his requests for crystal sinks, red velvet divans, ceiling mirrors, white shag-pile carpets and a throne room.
    This week’s White House press secretary, Simon Williams, said the incident showed Washington’s resistance to change.
    “This is the Deep State going against the will of the people. Their president simply wants to eat breakfast on a 15 ft black marble table and sleep in a bed with carved ivory posts but liberal bureaucrats are hell bent on thwarting the wishes of honest Americans.”
    A spokesperson for Heritage Works, the company tasked with the renovation, said that the age of the building and not politics were to blame.
    “We did our best to oblige but we are constrained by budget and architecture. We removed all traces of Lincoln, Grant and Kennedy and put in busts of General Lee and Bedford Forrest.
    “We installed that large portrait of President Trump as a muscular barbarian warrior as well as his favourite painting of dolphins jumping in front of a rainbow.
    “But a life-size solid gold statue of himself on a revolving plinth is simply too heavy for the 18th-century masonry. As it is, we struggled to install those special swings in the First Lady’s bedroom.”
    The $3 million price tag will be added to $2 million spent in November 2016 after Donald Trump controversially insisted all the silverware, bedding and furniture touched by the Obamas be destroyed for fear of “catching Kenyan AIDS”.
    NT

    Early but Insightful

    Premier League
    Standings
    #
    Team
    MP
    W
    D
    L
    GF
    GA
    GD
    Pts
    1
    3
    3
    0
    0
    10
    0
    10
    9
    2
    3
    2
    1
    0
    8
    3
    5
    7
    3
    3
    2
    1
    0
    4
    0
    4
    7
    4
    3
    2
    1
    0
    5
    2
    3
    7
    5
    3
    2
    1
    0
    3
    1
    2
    7
    6
    3
    2
    0
    1
    6
    4
    2
    6
    7
    3
    1
    2
    0
    5
    3
    2
    5
    8
    3
    1
    2
    0
    3
    2
    1
    5
    9
    3
    1
    1
    1
    4
    3
    1
    4
    10
    3
    1
    1
    1
    4
    4
    0
    4
    11
    3
    1
    1
    1
    2
    2
    0
    4
    12
    3
    1
    1
    1
    2
    3
    -1
    4
    13
    3
    1
    1
    1
    2
    4
    -2
    4
    14
    3
    1
    0
    2
    3
    3
    0
    3
    15
    3
    1
    0
    2
    5
    6
    -1
    3
    16
    3
    1
    0
    2
    4
    8
    -4
    3
    17
    3
    0
    1
    2
    0
    4
    -4
    1
    18
    3
    0
    0
    3
    1
    5
    -4
    0
    19
    3
    0
    0
    3
    0
    6
    -6
    0
    20
    3
    0
    0
    3
    2
    10
    -8
    0