Sunday, 31 July 2016

C & H

Calvin and Hobbes

Gob on That

How does spitting in swimming goggles keep them from fogging up?
girl-with-foggy-glassesThe “fog” you may sometimes experience on your glasses or goggles occurs when atmospheric humidity near the lens condenses; this happens due to a relatively significant discrepancy between the temperature of the lens and the surrounding air. As the surface attempts to reach an equilibrium between the two temperatures, heat energy is given up; and, as the energy within the gaseous water molecules decreases, they form into tiny water droplets on your lens, otherwise known as “fog.”
So how do we stop the fog from forming on your glasses? There are two primary types of substances used here- surfactants and hydrophilic ingredients.
Surfactants (or surface acting agents) are a broad group of compounds that include everything from saliva to baby shampoo to emulsifiers. (Incidentally, it is a surfactant that is the reason certain things taste disgusting after using toothpaste, see: Why Does Orange Juice Taste Awful After Brushing Your Teeth. Surfactants also play a key role inwhy dropping a mentos in something like Diet Coke produces such a strong geiser-like reaction.) These work by lowering the surface tension of water.
In the case of lens fog, which is essentially just a bunch of tiny water droplets, the surfactant’s ability to lower surface tension helps prevent tiny droplet formation. So instead of numerous tiny droplets forming all over your glasses, you get a very thin film of water that isn’t likely to interfere with your vision.
If you don’t have an anti-fog spray handy, in addition to human saliva and shampoo, other soaps, glycerin and even, as previously mentioned, certain substances in toothpaste, are surfactants and thus will effectively prevent fog from accumulating on a lens.
The other primary method for preventing fog is to cover the lens with a hydrophilic coating, which may include a polyvinyl alcohol, polymers, hydrogels and colloids. Meaning “water loving,” hydrophilic ingredients absorb water and thus ultimately spread it throughout the coating, similar to surfactants, preventing the numerous tiny droplets of visible “fog.”
Bonus Facts:
  • Until recently, neither method worked perfectly as surfactants had to be re-applied periodically, and hydrophilic coatings can eventually wear away (think of when a sponge gets saturated and will no longer absorb water) or never fully adhere to the lens, due to the lens, itself, having a hydrophobic (water hating) surface (such as anti-glare). In 2011, however, researchers with the Université Laval in Quebec announced that, by laying down different compounds in successive layers, that included a polyvinyl alcohol coating, they had supposedly created a permanent, hydrophilic, anti-fog coating. According to the patent grant (July 31, 2012), the process consisted of“A first polymer layer resulting from covalently bonding a polyanhydride polymer to said surface; and a second polymer layer resulting from covalently bonding a polymer . . . of polyvinyl alcohol, partially hydrolyzed polyester, polyether and cellulose derivative . . . . A substrate having an anti-fog coating, as well as a process for preparing said anti-fog coating . . . .” Of course, they wouldn’t be the first to claim to have come up with a permanent solution to this problem, that turns out to just be a relatively long lasting one.
  • More than just a convenience, effective anti-fog measures can go a long way to preventing workplace injuries. In fact, in the U.S. alone, 2,000 eye injuries serious enough to require medical attention occur each day. Sadly, most of these could have been prevented had the worker worn protective eyewear. According to a study published in Accident Analysis & Prevention, the single biggest reason workers reported that they did not wear such recommended protection was fogging. In addition, more than 25% of respondents who had a workplace injury reported that fogged protective eyewear contributed to their injury.
TIFO

Well Said

Too bad the only people who know how to run the country are busy driving cabs and cutting hair.
George Burns
US actor & comedian (1896 - 1996)

Head Cans

A man listening to music on headphones is apparently unaware that everyone can hear him singing along.
Simon Williams, 31, appears to believe that by putting his headphones on other people will be spared his tuneless rendition of Royal Blood’s Out of the Black, which the evidence suggests he has on loop.
However, despite his inexplicably blithe confidence that the sounds coming out of his mouth are being muffled by the covering to his ears, people near Simon are being subjected to his mix of humming, incoherent mumbling, and occasional loud words when he remembers them.
“He’s just sitting there going ‘Mer nuh mah pardo me uff pardo you’ like nobody can hear him,” a fellow passenger in his train carriage told us.
“Again and again and again. I’d mind less if he was improving as time went on but noooo.
“It’s like listening to Mark E Smith after he’s had his third or fourth vodka.
“I wish he’d at least change songs.”
Fellow passengers will shortly learn that they are incorrect in their wish that he would change songs as Simon is considering switching to his ‘retro, ironic’ Kylie playlist.
NT

DYK?

Jimmy Carter was the first US President to be born in a hospital.

Floating in Paris

There’s a hotel for pretty much every taste—from ones made of ice, to ones in bubbles, to one without walls. Now, a new destination in Paris is taking lodging off land entirely. It’s a hotel that sits on the waters of the Seine river.  
As Condé Nast Traveler reports, OFF Paris Seine is France’s first floating hotel (though many others exist around the world) and is part of a wider effort to reconnect the city with the waterway. The hotel opened in June, features 58 rooms, and is moored near the Gare d’Austerlitz. There’s a pool, summer terrace, and a cocktail and tapas bar (which is open to non-residents), and design elements that utilize the environment, like 8800 suspended metal squares, which move with the boat.
OFF Paris Seine is the work of Gérard Ronzatti of Seine Design, as well as design team Maurizio Galante and Tal Lancman. "There’s been a gap—not enough of a connection—between the Seine and Parisian life,” Lancman told Condé Nast Traveler. “In our design, we celebrate this new city experience that hasn’t existed in Paris until now.”
The Paris-Plages urban beach project has brought Parisians to the water since 2007, and in 2013, the riverside promenade Berges de Seine became a permanent fixture. Mayor Anne Hidalgo, who’s also been an advocate for making the city more bike and pedestrian friendly, has also vowed to make the Seine open for swimming by 2024.
MF

True Dat

Hurting True Facts About Daily Life

Banned

A spokesperson the the European and Global Culture Capital Designation Society has confirmed that the town of Southend On Sea has been SUSPENDED from all future European and World Capital of Culture competitions. 
The shock announcement came after a number of actors from The Only Way Is Essex visited Southend Seafront on Wednesday.
EGCCDS Chairman Harold Zimpleten said: ‘Our rules are perfectly clear on this matter. Any village, town or city is eligible to enter until the local government administration seeks to gain exposure from any TV show where the average viewer has an IQ that is lower than a plastic spoon.’
‘We watched some episodes of The Only Way Is Essex at our Switzerland headquarters three months ago. Our Chief Executive Officer is still in a coma.’
Southend Borough Council’s Reality TV Outreach Officer Jemima Strawclutch spoke to Southend News Network to apologise for the situation.
She said: ‘Every week, we are treated to scenes of the golden streets of Brentwood and Laaaaaaaaghton, and I guess I just pictured Southend without 5000 phone shops – m enthusiasm got the better of me.’
‘Being suspended from the Capital of Culture contests will hurt Southend for a while, but we can still dream of becoming a city one day.’
‘Achieving ‘city’ status will solve all of our problems overnight. People don’t seem to realise that.’
SNN

Result

At least a year or two ago, I picked up a basic Android box which was a super bargain at Big C.  For about THB 700 (~£15) the package included the box, a remote, power pack and all the necessary cables to hook up to the telly.

We didn't need it but for that price it was a steal (sure enough, a week or so later they had amended the price to add on another grand, so I suspect a pricing error was the reason for such a good deal) and we used it occasionally while on the road.

I have been meaning to dig it out for a while to clean it up and upgrade some of the software and got my chance yesterday.  It worked a treat immediately and after locating new batteries for the remote, I was off and running.

I transferred Cartoon HD onto it which loaded up immediately and within a couple of minutes I was able to run this App directly onto the TV in the sitting room.

I mention this as I left a similar box with the in-laws on our last visit and implore them to bring it with them on their next trip out here.  I'll upgrade it and soon they too will be able to watch dozens of TV series and films at the touch of a button without any fuss or difficulty.

You will be so impressed and all you need is a reasonable wi-fi connection.

IotD

Leaking batteries.

** Spoiler Alert **

If you don't want to know anything more about the film "THe Lady in the Van", look away now. If you are happy to have an insight, this is a well written re-view from IMDb:

Dame Maggie as another cranky old bird
20 November 2015 | by davidgee (United Kingdom) – See all my reviews
At the bottom of the poster it says: 'This is a mostly true story.' Nicholas Hytner directs a 'revisionist' take on Miss Shepherd, the tramp-like old biddy who parked her van in Alan Bennett's front drive for a few weeks that turned into 15 years. The movie version fleshes out her story with glimpses of her past (a convent, a piano recital, a family feud, a fatal accident) which the narrator (one of the two Alan Bennetts played by Alex Jennings) tells us he only found out after she died.

A woman in front of me whispered to her companion, who wondered why Alan Bennett had a twin, that he actually had a split personality. That's not a bad explanation for the device of the householder Alan who puts up with Miss Shepherd (and clears her mess from his drive) and the writer Alan who doesn't think there's a story in this. I'm not sure that the double-act is entirely effective or necessary: a voice-over from the real Alan would have worked just as well, wouldn't it?

Despite the attempts to give the Lady a life before the Van, the screenplay is more revealing about the playwright, the reluctant Samaritan who is also having to deal with his northern mother's journey down the road to dementia. There are even a few references to the fact that Mr Bennett's sexuality was being questioned for many years before he finally outed himself.

The movie has more pace than the book and the play did. Maggie Smith is of course simply magnificent, fully absorbed into the grimy skin of this unlovable old harridan. Her performance is pitched midway between the Duchess of Downton and Muriel from the Marigold Hotel, although the character preposterously blends Hyacinth Bucket with Victor Meldrew. The 'History Boys', who largely owe their careers to Mr Bennett, pop up in a series of cameos, along with Frances de la Tour and Stephen Campbell-Moore from the same play. Jim Broadbent's scrounger is the least convincing presence and is perhaps mostly untrue.

This looks like being another highly competitive year for Oscars and BAFTAs, but Dame Maggie is certain to be a contender and could well be a winner. THE LADY IN THE VAN is not pitch-perfect in the way that THE HISTORY BOYS was (and the first - best - MARIGOLD HOTEL), but it is another master-class exemplar of British writing, acting and film- making.

The Lady in the Van

Been meaning to catch up with this film for a number of weeks now and finally got around to it yesterday.  What a gem.

It took a little while to twig that the main character (outside of the van lady/Maggie Smith) was indeed Alan Bennet, rather well portrayed by Alex Jennings but it didn't detract from this wonderful movie.

I won't offer any spoilers but will point out this was based on a true story and that Mr Bennet has got to be one of the most beautiful human being with such a big heart.

It restores faith in humanity and I spent the rest of the day just smiling and happy.

A top notch Brit cast, with equally sparkling dialogue and direction, this film will whizz past and you will enjoy every moment.  ktelontour well recommended.

Google is Your Friend

Ta to wiki:

"Many happy returns" is a greeting which is used by some on birthdays, and by others in response to "Merry Christmas" and "Happy New Year ." The term itself refers to the passing year. Since the 18th century this has been used as a salutation to offer the hope that a happy day being marked would recur many more times. It is now primarily used, by some, on birthdays. Prior to the mid-19th century, it was used at any celebratory or festive event. The phrase is more common in British English and Indian English than in Canadian English or American English.

An alternative explanation is that "returns" here is used in the sense of "yield" or "profit" that it is still found in "investment returns." Therefore, "many happy returns of the day" would be a wishing a person a rewarding day, full of happiness.

Many Happy Returns

It seems like a very odd thing to say, particularly on someone's birthday.  "Return" to what or from where?  I wonder how this came about?

Toots and The Maytals - Monkey Man

Song of the day, a song which our Wolfie Witcher and his Magic Brew covered to much delight when we used to see them in Camden all those years ago.

The original is quality but their version was better and we have many fond memories of the guys ripping into this at the World's End.

Up, Up and Away

We've always used to Skype and even though MS bought the company out a few years ago offering less for more (service and cash, in that order) we stayed loyal.

One of the advantages of using Skype is that you can buy a number to enable anyone to call you*, even if they don't have a computer.  This was particularly useful for wifey's mum and the girls always had a twice weekly natter all around the world.

In the beginning I think we paid £12/year for this privilege and we could re-new as and when we wanted to.  Sadly MS's interference to "provide a better service" means we can no longer do this and we have to wait for them to automatically take payment from our account annually.

OK, hardly the biggest hurdle of the day to mount, but it does mean you have to keep your account topped up at the right time which is a minor niggle.

Anyway, we had our number renewed today and it the cost has now risen to £16.80.  That's coming up to a fiver on top of original purchase price which doesn't sound a lot, but do the maths and that's 40% extra.

Nice work if you can get it, eh?




*And does anyone?  Do they shite.  No matter how often we remind people it costs the same as a local call (landline) still everyone expects us to ring them.  Gits. 

All Kicking Off

We are most fortunate to have not just polite and considerate neighbours, but they are usually most quiet.  That peace seems to have temporarily shattered as one of our neighbours, and I am guessing it's opposite, is having an all mighty row.

And not just in the privacy of their home, rather in the corridor leading up to the lifts.

It's a right ripper and has been going on for several minutes with a shrill, piercing lady's voice raising the roof and then some.  This is punctuated by a muted, male voice almost pleading for the starring role to STFU but up until just now, that request has fallen on deaf ears.

I think we've seen the back of the Billingsgate, fish-wifed voice as a slamming door seems to have put a full stop under a most vocal exclamation mark left by the "lady".

I hope no blood was spilt and we can all continue on our own merry ways in the calm solitude we have been accustomed to. I wonder what set it off, but I am guessing money was involved...

Saturday, 30 July 2016

C & H

Calvin and Hobbes

If Only we can do This Here Too

Shoppers in England are set to take home six billion fewer single-use plastic bags this year as a result of the 5p charge, early figures suggest.
More than seven billion of the bags were handed out by seven main retailers in 2014, but this figure dropped to just over half a billion in the first six months after the 5p charge was introduced in October last year, the Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) said.
The charge has also resulted in donations of more than £29m from retailers towards good causes including charities and community groups.
TInd

Sounds About Right

John Terry gets England medal
Ex-England captain John Terry attended a gala to commemorate the 1966 England World Cup win wearing a full 1966 England football strip.
“It was a bit embarrassing,” said an onlooker.
“They were having a photo taken of everyone who played in the final, when before anyone knew what’s happened, John Terry’s got himself dressed up in a full vintage kit and tried to get himself in the photo.”
Initially, some of the team made light of the intrusion but Mr Terry’s insistence on holding a replica World Cup trophy above his head shouting, ‘I’m captain, I’m best,’ eventually began to try the patience of those gathered, and he was asked to leave.
“It was awful, he said he wanted a winner’s medal,” continued the witness.
“He said that even though he wasn’t there at the final, as a member of the England football team he definitely deserved a medal and he wasn’t going until he got one.”
Mr Terry gave his side of the story as he made his way to the disabled spot where he was parked.
“All I’m saying is I played for England loads, so I definitely deserve a medal.
“I thought I could have Bobby Moore’s?”
NT

Pawmanship

Well Said

Literature is an occupation in which you have to keep proving your talent to people who have none.
Jules Renard
(1864 - 1910)

Good People- 3

7
The waiter who performed the Heimlich on a choking teen

The waiter who performed the Heimlich on a choking teen
Gabriel Bergeron, a server at the Mongolian Village restaurant in Ottawa, is being hailed as a hero after coming to the rescue of a choking customer.

Tracy Hill and her family of six — including her husband, her daughter Emily and her partner, and son Zack — turned up at the restaurant. During their meal, Zack appeared to be choking. Tracy tried to perform the Heimlich herself, but it didn't work. 21-year-old waiter Gabriel then “appeared out of nowhere. He just grabbed Zack, lifted him right off the floor and Heimliched him, and the piece of calamari popped right out — onto the plate.”

Zack later admitted he'd never performed the Heimlich maneuver before, but recalls “some training” back in elementary school. (Source)



8
The waiter who fed a customer with no hands

The waiter who fed a customer with no hands
Georgia waiter Alex Ruiz, 22, is being hailed a hero for helping a customer who couldn't feed himself because he had no hands.

Ruiz, who works at Cinco De Mayo Mexican Grill in Douglasville, Georgia quickly recognized that the man wouldn't be able to eat by himself without hands. He sat down across from the customer and fed him bites of food. Over the course of the more than 30-minute meal, Ruiz didn't get up from the table once.

Another patron, Reginald Widener, posted the above photo on Facebook. Of course, it immediately went viral. (Source)

Good People- 2

4
The waitress who picked up the tab for a police officer and his family

The waitress who picked up the tab for a police officer and his family
Sergeant Terry Lewis has been with the Excelsior PD in Excelsior Springs, MO for eight years. In recent months, with anti-police sentiment at an all-time high, his spirits had taken a hit — until one night in July 2016. 

He was eating dinner at Applebees with his family when their waitress approached the table and thanked him for his service. When he later asked for the check, he was shocked to find a note instead, which read, "Thank you and fellow officers. You're appreciated very much. Signed, Your server and friends who support you." His bill was paid in full. 

Lewis keeps the note in his uniform, right by his heart. He never got to thank the server and hopes she knows how much it meant. He said, "You have no idea — the timing of that thank you. Amongst everything that's going on in the world, if I could I would throw my arms around her." (Source)



5
The waiter who handed out pizza to hungry migrant children

The waiter who handed out pizza to hungry migrant children
In September 2015, a Reuters photographer captured a moment of kindness amid the chaos of Europe's migrant crisis. In the Slovenian border village of Sentilj, one server delivered pizza to a group of migrants and refugees waiting behind a fence.

Many individuals at the country's borders scrambled to lend a helping hand and gave out meals. While we don't know the waiters name or his backstory, his kind gesture continues to resonate with folks around the world. (Source)



6
The waiter who helped a tired mom by feeding her baby

The waiter who helped a tired mom by feeding her baby
Arkansas mom Dallas French posted to Facebook about how an Olive Garden waiter went above and beyond to make sure that she and her family enjoyed their meal. It has been shared more than 28,000 times. 

French went to the Little Rock restaurant after her infant daughter underwent some tests at the hospital. As she was was about to feed the baby, she spilled the bottle and had to make another. Her server, who had just brought her salad and breadsticks, said, “Let me feed her and you eat.”

French was extremely thankful for the help. She later wrote, “He didn't even know what we had gone through that day and showed us love and understanding. (He was) not irritated that I had made a mess, and my baby was screaming.” (Source)

Good People- 1

1
The waiter who intervened during the mugging of an elderly man

The waiter who intervened during the mugging of an elderly man
A Washington D.C. waiter channeled his inner superhero when an elderly man was mugged in front of his workplace in July 2016. 

The man was walking along Massachusetts Avenue in front of the Dignitary bar when an assailant tackled him to the ground. He was also brandishing a knife. 

The waiter, who chooses to remain anonymous, sprung into action. He kicked the suspect, and then wrestled him for the knife. The mugger got away with the victim's wallet, but he might not be on the lamb for long—D.C. police now have his knife and are hoping to collect a DNA sample. 
(Source | Photo)



2
The waiter whose kindness toward a man with cerebral palsy went viral

The waiter whose kindness toward a man with cerebral palsy went viral
A South Carolina waiter who goes only by the name of "Five" has a new friend in Lee Bondurant of Raleigh, North Carolina. Lee, who has cerebral palsy and is unable to use his hands, was touched by Five's kindness after the server offered to feed him. 

Linda Bondurant was trying to feed both herself and her son at the 42nd St. Oyster Bar when Five offered assistance. "He casually came over and asked Lee if he had ever had oysters," Linda recalled. "Lee told him he had not. So, [Five] asked [if he] could he serve him his first." Linda posted the story onto Lee's Facebook page where it received over 1,300 shares, and accolades for Five, who doesn't get all the fuss—he wanted to literally lend a helping hand. "Seafood is best eaten hot, so I didn't want her food to get cold. I didn't want his food to get cold," recalled Five, "I just wanted to help a fellow man out." (Source)



3
A waitress and boy who teamed up to feed a homeless man

A waitress and boy who teamed up to feed a homeless man
We don't know the city — Rooster's Wings is a chain in several states — but this restaurant interaction also went viral and for good reason. 

According to a Facebook page called Love What Matters, a homeless man came into the establishment and ordered a Coke. When asked if he wanted anything to eat, he said he only had enough for the drink and a tip. A boy sitting nearby overheard the conversation and intervened saying he would gladly pay for whatever the man wanted. The man didn't want to be a bother and declined. That's when the server jumped in and said she, too, would give him anything he wanted from the menu for free. They pleaded with the man for a full five minutes before he recanted and ordered some wings. Kudos to both the server and the kid for their persistence and kindness! (Source)

Oddee

DYK?

It is never mentioned that there were specifically "three" wise men in the Bible.  The number could have been anything, even numbering in the hundreds.

Learning to Read

Whether you skim a blog post, peruse files for work, or browse through a book, you most likely do some type of reading every day. But slogging through dense passages of text can be time-consuming, mentally exhausting, and hard on your eyes. If you want to read faster while maintaining reading comprehension, check out these seven tips.

1. PREVIEW THE TEXT.

Viewing a film’s trailer before watching the movie gives you context and lets you know what to expect. Likewise, previewing a text before reading it prepares you to quickly gain an understanding of what you’re about to read. To preview a text, scan it from the beginning to the end, paying special attention to headings, subheadings, anything in bold or large font, and bullet points. To get a big picture understanding, skim the introductory and concluding paragraphs. Try to identify transition sentences, examine any images or graphs, and figure out how the author structured the text.

2. PLAN YOUR ATTACK.

Strategically approaching a text will make a big difference in how efficiently you can digest the material. First, think about your goals. What do you want to learn by reading the material? Jot down some questions you want to be able to answer by the end. Then, determine the author’s goal in writing the material, based on your preview. The author’s goal, for example, might be to describe the entire history of Ancient Rome, while your goal is simply to answer a question about Roman women’s role in politics. If your goal is more limited in scope than the author’s, plan to only find and read the pertinent sections.
Similarly, vary your plan of attack based on the type of material you’re about to read. If you’re going to read a dense legal or scientific text, you should probably plan to read certain passages more slowly and carefully than you’d read a novel or magazine.

3. BE MINDFUL.

Reading quickly with good comprehension requires focus and concentration. Minimize external noise, distractions, and interruptions, and be mindful when your thoughts wander as you read. If you notice that you’re fantasizing about your next meal rather than focusing on the text, gently bring your mind back to the material. Many readers read a few sentences passively, without focus, then spend time going back and re-reading to make sure they understand them. According to author Tim Ferriss, this habit, called regression, will significantly slow you down and make it harder to get a big picture view of the text. If you carefully and attentively approach a text, you'll quickly realize if you’re not understanding a section, saving you time in the long run.

4. DON’T READ EVERY WORD… 

To increase your reading speed, pay attention to your eyes. Most people can scan in 1.5 inch chunks, which, depending on the font size and type of text, usually comprise three to five words each. Rather than reading each word individually, move your eyes in a scanning motion, jumping from a chunk (of three to five words) to the next chunk of words. Take advantage of yourperipheral vision to speed up around the beginning and end of each line, focusing on blocks of words rather than the first and last words.
Pointing your finger or a pen at each chunk of words will help you learn to move your eyes quickly over the text. And it will encourage you not to subvocalize as you read. Subvocalization, or silently pronouncing each word in your head as you read, will slow you down and distract you from the author’s main point.

5. … AND DON’T READ EVERY SECTION.

According to Dartmouth College’s Academic Skills Center, it’s an old-fashioned myth that students must read every section of a textbook or article. Unless you’re reading something extremely important, skip the sections that aren’t relevant to your purpose. Reading selectively will make it possible for you to digest the main points of many texts, rather than only having time to fully read a couple.

6. WRITE A SUMMARY. 

Your job shouldn’t end when you read the last word on the page. After you finish reading, write a few sentences to summarize what you read, and answer any questions you had before you started reading. Did you learn what you were hoping to learn? By spending a few minutes after reading to think, synthesize the information, and write what you learned, you’ll solidify the material in your mind and have better recall later. If you’re a more visual or verbal learner, draw amind map summary or tell someone what you learned.

7. PRACTICE TIMED RUNS.

Approaching a text strategically, reading actively, and summarizing effectively takes practice. If you want to improve your reading speed, use a timer to test how many words (or pages) per minute you can read. As you’re able to read faster and faster, check in with yourself to make sure you’re happy with your level of comprehension.
MF

Anorak Alert

Baz Speak

The Department for Cultural Affairs has released its latest report about South Essex, and one of the most shocking findings is that GRUNTING is now the most widely-spoken language across Basildon. 
According to the July 2016 statistics, grunting has now overtaken English, Polish and Urdu across all of the areas that make up the borough – 74% of the local population consider it to be their mother tongue. 
Professor Colin Vange is a professor at the University of Leigh Beck, and he admitted that the findings were ‘hardly a shock.’
He said: ‘The most fascinating part of this report wasn’t that grunting has become the top form of communication. Amazingly, localised variations of grunting have been detected throughout Basildon.’
‘For example, Pitsea has more of a prehistoric, aggressive tone, while people in Billericay have evolved to grunt with more ‘oo’ and ‘er’ sounds.’
We went to Pitsea Market with an interpreter to gather some local reaction to the news. Joanna Og is a primary school teacher, and she said that the language is causing problems in the classrooms of the area.
She added: ‘Children keep running up to me and just saying ‘oooooong grffffff’ as they are picking it up from their parents at home. Last year’s nativity play was a complete write off.’
‘Teaching phonics is also nearly impossible when you can’t write down the separate sounds in each word. Imagine the sound of Welsh with the funny backwards letters of Russian and the throat-clearing of Klingon – it’s harder than that.’
SNN